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beatsforonlyou
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Name: Brittany
Gender: Female
Interests: Jesus, Life, Family, friends, art, Photography, Music, writing, beach, fall, Belmont University, summer, wakeboarding, longboarding/surfing, camp spofford, ginger ale, tea, boys, and others stuffs [:
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/4/2007
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| so I'm moving my blog to
http://adoringembrace.tumblr.com/
check it out and follow me there :) | | |
| Have you ever experienced true, humble worship? Humble worship outside of the church, in a home with your friends? Last night, I had the opportunity to experience true humility in worship. I had the opportunity to fall in love with Jesus all over again. I was reminded of the holiness of Jesus, and reminded of how small I am in comparison. I was decreased to nothing and humbled before the cross. I found my heart sold out for Jesus last night; the joy He gave was incomparable to anything I have ever experienced. I was reminded of
Psalm 73:26
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
We all fall short, but the Lord will strengthen and revive you. Experiencing revival first hand is beautiful and rewarding; It will make you want to dance and scream and praise God FOREVER!
Leaving worship last night, I could not contain my joy. I fell SO madly in love with Jesus; a love, a feeling I had never felt before. True, holy, unconditional love; a 1 corinthians 13 kind of love. I was searching in all the wrong places. I was looking for a boy to come into my life that could show me love and fill my heart in a way that only God can. I was looking for a relationship to fill the void and bring me joy; but what i realized? Jesus is the only one who can come and quench my hunger for love and give me a joy that is completely indescribable. I can't express to you the love that I felt last night, the wholeness I felt, when I humbled myself at the foot of the cross.
Isaiah 1:31
"The Mighty Man will become tinder and his work a spark; both will burn together with no one to quench the Fire."
When we are thirsty for the spirit, The lord will come an quench that thirst and create in you a new clean heart, on fire for him. We need to believe that no one and nothing can quench that fire. Our lives are created a new, our joy is revived and our hearts are filled with an all consuming fire.
Lamentations 3:19-24
"I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
I pray that you may find yourself at the foot of the cross, surrendering to Him today. You may stumble and fall; we humans are not perfect. But His mercies are new every morning! | | |
| Today, I decided to read my old posts and see how much I've grown; to see what has changed since college. I guess it never appeared to me, the maturity and growth, that I went through after moving 16 plus hours away from Long Island, New York to Nashville, Tennessee. Looking back, I was a pretty messed up kid, with a life centered on finding my purpose; a life centered on finding my soulmate; a life centered on everything but the Lord. I went through a phase of attempting to trust the Lord with my life, but trusting others with my heart. The problem is, I was so scarred and bruised because of my lack of faith and my lack of confidence, that my heart became cold and hardened. I started writing things like, "My heart is even with the frost on my lashes; with the hammer you hold against the beating, it continues and crashes." A pretty depressing quote, I'll admit; but it was one hundred percent how I felt at the time. I knew I needed more I knew I needed the Lord to break my stoney heart, yet I had no idea how to go about it... So I kept running. I searched for a boy to fall for; a boy to break my heart, thinking that may do the trick. It didn't work. Instead my heart just got colder and harder and I fell further away from God than I had ever imagined I would.
Through out senior year, I knew I needed God to save me, I knew I couldn't do it alone, yet I ignored the need and the tug on my heart because I wanted to do "My" thing. Don't get me wrong, I was a good kid. I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't get arrested... I just became emotionally promiscuous. Every guy I met automatically became a prospect for me. I'd pursue them until they fell for me and then end up breaking their heart because I changed my mind about them. I broke their hearts, instead of letting them break my own. Selfish. The root of my ice cold heart, the root of my pain? Selfishness. My life was wrapped around saving myself, it was wrapped around guarding my hardened heart. So, I moved away from home, away from high school and away from all the hearts I had broken in my selfishness.
C.S. Lewis wrote,
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable."
This is exactly what I had done with my heart. I had stopped loving. I had stopped loving everything but myself. I locked my heart up in a coffin of selfishness; letting no one and nothing in. My heart became unbreakable to all who came into my life. I had met wonderful people, potential best friends, potential husbands... and I broke their hearts, with no consideration of their feelings or their hearts. I figured since my heart was essentially "unbreakable" theirs would be too.
Looking back, I had let my selfishness get the best of me. Moving to Tennesse, Moving away from my past, having the opportunity to start over in a sense... I have learned to give my heart to the Lord, I have learned to trust that He will bring healing and strength to my life. I have learned that he blesses those who Trust in him, he rewards those who glorify him. His reward? The Unconditional Love of Jesus Christ... and that? That is the most fulfilling and amazing reward we could ever receive.
Today, I am glorifying God in all I do because my ice cold heart has been melted and softened with the warmth and love of my creator. My selfishness has become selflessness in the name of the Lord. I am not saying that the Lord has perfected me because I am in no way perfect... but I am simply saying the through the Lord? I have come a long way, and he is still in the process of restoring my life.
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God, not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies." [[2 Corinthians 4:7-10]]
The Lords work is still being done in my life and I pray that he may continue to work in you. If you are broken, if you are weak... Look to the Lord and He WILL bring you healing and strength, He will love you unconditionally and he will never forsake you. | | |
| Have you ever experienced such a brokenness that you feel as though your whole earth is shattered? You've been so sensitive to everything you feel replaced even by those closest to you... well, yeah... thats kind of what I'm experiencing. Yes, I am trusting in the Lord, and I am trying my best to find myself in him... but it's a lot harder than it seems. Lately, My family has been going through some crazy financial stuff as well as health issues. The root? Family members are not trusting in the Lord for provision and strength. No, Im not saying God is "shunning" them for not glorifying him, Im simply saying that the Lord will bless those who trust him; I'm saying that we, as humans, as God's children, need to trust in him in ALL we do. James 1 talks about maturity in Christ through embracing him in trial; looking to him for wisdom; asking him in faith. I feel that many of us ask God for help and ask him for wisdom, while also searching for it in other places... We ask him with a bit of doubt in our hearts because we think that we can get through things on our own; because we think we're in control. News? we're not.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." -James 1:5-8
My family situation, My life? I've been praying that God would hold it and mend it, provide and strengthen it... but after reading this, I ask myself, really? do you REALLY believe that God will help you through this? I realized tonight that I haven't been... I have not trusted that He will help me through because I felt like I could handle this (I can't... btw) So, Tonight, after realization and a lot of prayer... I am giving it all to God. Trusting that HE has the power to and WILL provide for my family, He will give me the strength to get through and He will wrap me in his arms of love and heal my heart from the hurt.
If you have anything you're holding on to... that you want to control, Let it go; give it to God. He will provide and bless you more than you could ever know. If you feel like you can't? Ask him to help you! God is willing to strip you from anything that keeps you from him.
"Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded." - James 4:8
Let him search your heart and purify your life; Give your heart to him and trust that he will bless and provide. | | |
| I always go for guys i can't have... actually? who doesn't? its like we like the fight... but for you? i want to fight and i will fight for you.... I like you. A LOT. I havent felt this way about someone, in a long time... and i know that we may not ever happen, but i am crazy about you and hiding behind this pain is killing me little by little. I can't tell if you're oblivious to how i feel about you, or if you've fallen for me and are scared; or maybe you just don't like the idea... and are avoiding me because of it. Your inconsistencies are slowly driving me insane... I am so crazy about you.... I don't understand. I never would see myself going for a guy like you but, the more i think about it? your the kind of guy i need. I don't want to give up on you but i am thinking i have to... just tell me how you feel, i can't keep guessing. Until then,im going to make you miss me; if you do? you'll come back crying... i know it...
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